Happy New Year - roll on 2014

Happy New Year everyone :)

Been a while since I've last posted but things have been all over the place suffice to say, I am looking forward to renewed outlook on life in 2014.

I'm looking forward to going to gym every week, to start going swimming again, study through OTEN,  eating healthier, having more quiet times to really focus on what I want for myself and my family for the future.

I'll be back hopefully updating more often in 2014, so on that note, listening to fireworks going off all around me, I will sign off for 2013 and will catch up with you all in 2014.

Take care everyone :)

Weight in results for Wed 18th Dec

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 204.0 kg | 448.8 lb

Now: 204.5 kg | 449.9 lb

Loss: +0.5 kg | 1.1 lb

Total losses: 28.7 kg | 63.14 lb

Bought new vacuum cleaner, kambrook, $89.00

Paul arrived today plus his room, paid $660 for del, install and pickup

Felt crap the last few days even more so since "tom" arrived, it's Wed and tonight just felt off, nauseous, ended up way under calories and made myself eat some shapes for supper since I didn't eat much dinner, no lunch and only nutrigrain for breakfast

Tomorrow if I feel up to it, have an appointment for Michael at Westmead Hospital after lunch, so hopefully I'll be up for it, then gym on Fri.

Bit bummed bout the gain but was only 500g or 1.1 lb so not too bad, trick is to stay focused and concentrate on the next two weeks as I think we might weigh in next on 1st Jan 2014.

Anyway short entry tonight.

Weigh in results

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 205.9 kg | 453.0 lb

Now: 204.0 kg | 448.8 lb

Loss: -1.9 kg | -4.2 lb

Total losses: 29.2 kg | 64.2 lb

This is cool, felt like I had lost but I tend not to trust those feeling as I'm so often bitterly wrong but not today :). A nice -1.9 kg loss!

To top it off, Toni went and beat me with a resounding 2.6 kg loss AND she's her lowest weight too, so now she's concentrating on slow and steady with the goal in mind of fitting her beautiful dress we just bought for a wedding she and Paul are attending in Feb 2014.

So proud of her, she's really embraced doing the weight loss and fitness with me, really helps keep me motivated too.

Feeling off tonight, very tired and both legs feel like I have fire ants inside them, I've been bragging about how I haven't had to have extra painkillers apart from my daily am & pm OxyContin tabs but tonight, I swear I am a sec away from grabbing an Endone!

Weigh in results

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 206.3 kg | 453.9 lb

Now: 205.9 kg | 453.0 lb

Loss: -0.4 kg | -0.9 lb

Total losses: 27.3 kg | 60.1 lb

So a loss of 400g this week and according to MFP (my fitness pal) I was on plan to lose 500g so very happy with that.

I have though updated my profile to aim for at least 0.75 loss this week, so my calories have dropped down which is fine by me.  I was thinking of going higher and aiming for 1.0 kg per week but nah, not with my physical limitations, not yet, I just want to get into a rhythm and see how things go naturally.

Went out today on a surprise outing lol I thought Toni was going on her own till she beeped at me from the driveway where she had turned the car to make it easier for me to get in and off we went :)

Ok ok it was only to the Pet Barn store but it was fun but oh so hot, I'm not used to being out siting in the car, unfortunately I couldn't go inside so waited in car but that was ok, we used Hangout video on our phones as she walked through the store so I could see what was in ther and we spent up big, mainly medications etc for the dogs as one of them is badly affected by flies and on her ear they've opened up a small sore, so we now have antiseptic ointment, repellent spray, waterproof antibacterial spray, plus a special brush to help shed her coat is it a shedder brush? Anyway, we tried it and definitely was worth buying.

Plus a really big ceramic water bowl plus some extra buckets to fill with water too, plus a new frame bed to keep them off concrete when they want to sleep outside kennel.

Oh we also bought a really cheap ($45) pop up 3m x 3m gazebo to put outside to give dogs some shade too and we will put their bed under there too, oh and some collars too lol.

Yep spent a bit but well worth it, they're pets sure, but to us, they're family too especially my older dog (12yrs) as she's been there for me when I was at my lowest, unconditional love!

So early Christmas present for them :)

Weigh day end November

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 207.8 kg | 456.7 lb

Now: 206.3 kg | 453.9

Loss: -1.3 kg | -2.9 lb

Total losses: 26.9 kg | 59.2 lb

First week using Roxy my fitbit companion plus myfitnesspal as well, steep learning curve using these programs / apps but slowly getting to grips with them especially using the steps or movements as I renamed them lol racks up an impressive score of up to 1500 per day which is great encouraging me to move more even if it's not steps per se but whole body movement or arm exercises etc, it all counts.

Apart from that though, this week has been tough physically with my legs playing up a lot, spent most of the week in bed with legs up or napping, didn't get much done in way of study which was upsetting.

Nothing much else to report except that I'm doing ok and feeling very positive both of which are very good things indeed!

Weigh Day

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 208.6 kg | 458.9 lb

Now: 207.8 kg | 456.7 lb

Loss: -1.0 kg | -2.2 lb

Total losses: 25.6 kg | 56.3 lb

A kilo lost this week, pleased with that considering, actually, no, let's leave it as, I'm pleased :)

I missed "tom" last month but sure enough it turned up on Mon with all it's associated aches and pains, really painful actually especially with the legs as they swell up more than usual and feel very hot to touch, like I'm burning up inside as like a cellulitis attack but thankfully not an actual one.

So been a pretty ouchy past few days but hopefully finishing today or tomorrow then it's back to gym and maybe swimming (cross fingers).

Ooh I bought myself or the kids did for me :) a new flexbit flex whom I have named "Roxy" or flexy sexy Roxy lol and I know there's a fair amount of tweaking to get it set up for me example setting up my stride lengths or lack thereof as it's saying I'm doing a hell of a lot more steps than I am, so once it's adjusted for my little waddle steps hopefully will be more accurate.

But I like being able to track my sleep and steps even if it's only 50 a day, I can then strive for 55, 60 and so on.

Plus I can do my weights, seated boxing, bed dancing etc and it all gets counted, so will encourage me to do a little more each day, doesn't matter if the actual number is weird, too little or too much or for what exercise it counts, just that for each day after, I can do a little more and mentally that's a good boost.

I have got my fitness pal app too and might try that as they both link together too, as I said, tweaking to be done but that's ok, I needed something to lift my spirit up as I've been feeling pretty low recently and yeah I know, stopped blogging or answering ppl on Facebook for which I humbly apologise.

I guess I'm just disappointed that I just can't get out of the 200's and it's driving me crazy and the extra weight is literally killing me piece by piece as my legs are starting to feel the added pressure.

Plus other signs are depressing me too, mainly the lack of use my legs have been getting is leading to muscle weakness and atrophy which is really worrying.  I feel it very much so lately with back of my heel, ankles and calf, hurts to flex my feet and when I stand up it's bearable but take a step and bam, feels like hot knives stabbing the back of my heels / feet.

I'm scared I'm totally losing the use of my legs :( and that's it too late!

Weigh day and update on Michael

Start: 233.2 kg | 513.04 lb

Was: 206.2 kg | 453.6 lb

Now: 208.6 kg | 458.9 lb

Loss: +2.4 kg | +5.3 lb

Total losses: 24.6 kg | 54.1 lb

Really depressed at the moment re these numbers, just seem to be going backwards without stopping and yeah I get a couple good weeks then bam, gain after gain after gain!

Decided to take my frustrations out on planning some good meals for the coming fortnight and also did an online shop as well sticking completely to my list, yeah go me :)

Today in defence of the gain, was pretty much expected since I was out most of the day either in the car traveling to and from the hospital plus sitting in the wheelchair for hours which is definitely not good for the legs as I could feel them swelling under the thighs and above the knees as I was sitting and sure enough, when I went to get back in the car, was a real struggle not only to life my actual leg in, but to be able to physically fit both legs in AND shut the door, very tight squeeze with absolutely no gap between the door and my left leg or the middle console and my right leg and with the extra swelling under the upper thigh, I couldn't lift myself up enough to sit properly as the swelling stopped my bum / upper thigh from sitting on the seat, so very uncomfortable and ok, unsafe trip home.

Once there of course, it was a struggle to get out, go to the bathroom then such a relief to just flop into bed and immediately raise my legs up and just relax, actually Jackie, I'm sorry, I think I snoozed off while chatting to you

Anyway, it's early Thursday morning here and I'm sitting up in bed with legs still raised and actually feeling pretty ok which is great :)

In regards to why we were at the hospital today, was for Michael.  He has had a really bad sore on the front of his left leg, it's not open but it's pretty nasty looking and just won't go away, been a couple years and I finally got him to agree to get it checked out as now it's looking really bad.

So we went to the leg ulcer clinic at Blacktown Hospital and the nurse and doctor both said after looking at it and getting his history etc, well the nurse did, the doctor just sat there with her back to us, talking away on her phone.

Strangely enough, the nurse knew me from Westmead and Blacktown hospital on my many admittances and boy it was good to say I wasn't the patient :)

Anyway, they said they want to refer him to the dermatology clinic at Westmead for follow up as they have absolutely no idea what it is, they said he might have had an ulcer way back but doesn't now.

But the other concern is his left leg is twice the size of his right from toes up to the knees.  They were talking bout his lymphatic system and my ears pricked up, I had to ask since it is suspected that primary lymphoedema can be herititary.

The doctor then said in between talking on the phone mind you, that it wasn't relevant or important what I had since we're not related!

WTF?  The nurse, Michael and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.

Um hello?  I'm his mother the nurse told the doctor who just went meh and went back to talking on the phone.

I was pretty ropable by now and wanted out of there, Michael just rolled his eyes lol

Anyway, they took lots of blood and he had an X-ray as well.  Plus they took a photo of his leg to put with the referral they would send to Westmead and that was it.

Now we wait.

Michael said afterwards, she must have thought I was his wife or girlfriend so take it as compliment that I looked young enough? Lol yeah right!

In all seriousness though, we are going to ask that the dermatologist exhausts all other avenues in finding out what this is on his leg before doing the biopsy as it was the same dept, same hospital all those years ago that fucked up the biopsy on the front of my leg that awoke my lymphoedema.

We of course now know that if you suspect lymphoedema or a compromised lymphatic system, the last thing you do is open the skin on that limb or create pressure, so no blood tests, no injections, no blood pressure, nothing.

Too late for me but I be damned if I let them just play guess work on my son!

Anyway, this has turned into the post from hell I'm sure if you're still reading at this stage, but just feels good to get it all out there and I can stop worrying if for one night.

Birthdays

Happy birthday to my gorgeous puppy girl Jordan, she is starting to show signs of old age but her spirit is as loving, as fun as when she was a pup.  She loves me unconditionally and I can't imagine not having her around, she is my best friend!

Also today is my middle son's birthday, Darren, but as per usual, no contact, no calls, no replies to my texts, still hurts, still makes me cry but I have to toughen up around my other two as they have basically cast him out of their lives since he obviously has no desire to be in ours, but I'm his mum, I can't do that even though it would be easier emotionally I have to admit.

On a brighter note, it's my guy's birthday tomorrow so early skype session with him and organising him coming back over to stay few months from around Xmas which we both can't wait for, miss him heaps!

Health wise, lots of pain still with legs as per usual so dealing with that, but getting a little frustrated with how quickly my legs swell back up down when I spend any time sitting up in normal chair, I can't, won't, spend the rest of my life in bed, there has to be a better alternative surely?  And of course that reflects in my weight losses and gains, so dramatic sometimes it's overwhelming, I mean to gain up to 5-6 kilos from one morning to that night?  Ok I can see and feel the weight difference from morning to night but it's a little frightening to see the actual numbers reflect that and I can only imagine the damage, the toil this constant dramatic fluctuation is taking on my body, the stretching of the skin, the heaviness when I stand or go to walk, the overall pain, it's just mind boggling that my body is withstanding all this every single day.

But I carry on, no choice.

This week's happenings are hmm Mon, Michael has to go and get a referral letter from our local doctor to take to his appointment with Ambulatory Care Dept at Blacktown Hospital which is this Wed.  But Tues, he has to go up to Mum's at Kariong to help her put stuff out after dinner for her Council pick up, so he'll be there for dinner and do all that then head home, it's about 1-1/2 hrs from home to there, so not too bad.

Hopefully on Wed, I'll be well enough to go with him as he wants my company lol and since I set all this up, I guess I should go, hopefully we will find answers and treatment for his leg finally! 

Apart from that, weather has eased off here today, actually rained a bit, didn't get the promised storm though but maybe tomorrow?

Ok signing off for now

Michael's 32nd birthday

Michael's 32nd birthday today, wow, the years, well let's say I don't feel that old?  Yeah I know I had him at 16 yrs old and boy was tough, especially since I got kicked out of home once my mum and dad found out I was pregnant, the time I needed my mum the most, she asked my dad to tell me to leave, took many years before I forgave them, actually to be truthful I don't think I ever will totally forgive?

But, 32 yrs ago I had a beautiful baby boy, 9lbs, healthy, adorable and he had my heart from the first cry.

I nearly lost him though, a month or so old, I walked into his room just "knowing / feeling" something wasn't right and found him blue lying in the cot, not breathing and cold.

I panicked and since I was living in block apartments, I knew there were people home up the apartments near the street, so I decided to pick him up and run screaming up there begging someone to help as I didn't have a phone.

Luckily someone heard and called an ambulance and with all the shaking I was doing to him running plus God's help, we were able to revive him.

He ended up spending a few weeks in hospital and was diagnosed with gastric reflux, very bad to the point he had to have regular treatment and live in a Frazer chair 24/7 till he was over a year old.  Nothing was staying down and he had to have special foods etc but we got through it, all on my own, my parents believing it was what I deserved for what I had done, sex out of marriage yada yada.

Now, he's grown into a caring loving man who drives me totally insane at times, I grumble and complain, but I love him completely.

Happy birthday to my darling son and for the record?  I have absolutely NO regrets having him at all!  NONE my dear mother, none.

Ok yesterday, Michael and I went out to the local dog off leash park to see what it was like and we ended up going back home, grabbing our labrador and heading back.  It was a really great place, fully enclosed, was inside the Western Sydney Parklands and went for miles!  nature trails, this dog park and lots of other things I'm sure we will end up discovering.

But the park, yep, we will be going again very soon especially with both dogs as Shadow had a ball meeting up with all these other dogs.

I got jumped on by some bigger dogs which cause I was sitting in the wheelchair, they landed on my legs so have ended up with bruising, swelling and a lot of pain, hmm was a little pissed their owners didn't come and get their dogs and apologise I mean, hello, they were jumping on a disabled person in a wheelchair?

Anyway, next time we are going to be careful where we put me and keep an eye out for potential jumpees lol

But still was lots of fun and I got to go out for couple hours :)

Friday update

Pinch punch for the first of the month ...

Wow this year is just flying past but I guess I've missed a fair bit of it being sick so much which is beyond frustrating but nothing I can do about it apart from what I'm doing.

Michael's 32nd birthday on the 3rd Nov, now I feel old!

Just been taking things easy since going to gym on Tues and suffering so much day or so afterwards lol but was going to go today but had an appointment at home with Hearing Aust to reset my hearing aid but they didn't bother to turn up and when I rung up they said they had cancelled it they think but didn't ring and tell me!  Now have to rebook which could take months!  Sigh.

Oh got Michael's appointment date on 13th Nov for the Ambulatory Care Dept at Blacktown Hospital, basically the Leg Ulcer clinic.  Can't wait as I'm getting very nervous at how bad his leg is looking and I desperately want him getting the right treatment ASAP so he doesn't end up like me with my legs being undiagnosed or mistreated for so long.

Poor Toni got stuck helping me unknot my hair the other night.  Problem I have with being in bed so much is my hair is always put up in a ponytail to help keep it out of my way, but it just gets so knotty and when I'm sick so much, sweaty etc, I'm just not able to brush it and after few days wow it's bad.

Tonight Michael and I are on our own again as Toni has gone to her boyfriend's house and won't be home till late Sat night, then we are going to make Sunday Michael's spoiling day lol :)

Anyway, Michael bought these incredible looking Herbert Adams pies for our dinner tonight, will let you know how they go, hang on, might have picture of boxes.

Not sure which one we are having tonight though.

Weigh day again

Was: 205.5 kg | 452.1 lb

Now: 203.5 kg | 447.7 lb

Lost: 2.0 kg | 4.4 lb

Did not expect that result this week, makes 3 weeks losses in a row and nearly my lowest weight this year (203.4 kg)

So would love to get into the 190's soon and out of the dreaded 200's!

Even managed to go to gym on Tues too, hurt like hell afterwards but was definitely worth going.

Tomorrow Mum is coming over for lunch with Michael and I at home, celebrating early Michael's birthday which is Sun 3rd Nov.

Then hopefully on Fri, I have the Hearing Centre audiologist coming to reset my new hearing aid as it's definitely not on the correct settings, so hopefully we will fix that.

Owie my legs are really hurting today, not cellulitis hurt but like I've done 1000 squats, my upper thighs are killing me, strange as I only did upper body work at the gym but I guess having been in bed for weeks, getting out to the car, sitting in the car, then sitting in chair doing the exercises, I was holding my body straight with both feet on the ground, so obviously I was doing more than I thought and it shows lol or feels I should say hahaha.

Short but sweet, I will try to get back in here tomorrow (Thu) and update more.

Night :)

Reaffirming

Starting afresh, well not so much restarting but reaffirming?

I badly want to just be under 200 kg, I haven't got any time limits, restraints or grandiose ideas, I just want to put the 200's behind me once and for all if possible.

I know now that it's going to be an immense struggle, day by day having to juggle tracking, eating healthily, eating enough, drinking water more, Pepsi max less, move a little more often, even if just 5 mins, is better than nothing, exercise little but often, accepting that a lot of littles make up a big.

Focus more on building my immune system up, staying healthy and resting legs, this is key, the foundation of what I ultimately want to achieve which is weight loss and becoming stronger physically, mentally and emotionally.  That is the ultimate reward and my plan moving forward.

To achieve this I need to go back to basics, which includes blogging in some form, I have been on my iPad but not online and I'd like to go back to online as I loved being in contact and it helped keep me sane and feeling like I had some sort of control even when I didn't.

It also includes planning our meals, working out shopping lists and going online and ordering, I've struggled with this as I seem to drag my feet in getting organised each fortnight to do this on set days and I think I've figured it out why.  I think I was resenting online shopping because I saw it as stopping me from my only chance of getting out of the house as it seems lately IF I do get to go out, it's only to the shops, so if I start doing online shopping that's going to take away my only excuse for getting out.  Hmm not sure how to work this one out as the kids have both really drawn back from taking me out full stop.  I know it's hard work for them to take me out too and I'm now not even bothering to ask "can I go too?" as well, I guess it's easier without dragging me around as my son is very quick to point out.

So I guess, no I know, I'll start organising my online shop each fortnight.

Exercise, now this is a tricky one as it's very much a "catch 22" situation and I have to admit I'm a little lost as to how to handle it.

I'll try and explain.

When I exercise, my body is shaking and moving fluids around for example the lymphatic system needs to be manually pumped so moving my legs, ankles, calves and feet are pumping the fluid up my legs, around the body, the nodes etc and on it goes with the job of cleaning my body up of all the nasty toxins, excess protein etc

Which is great, except because of my diseases, a lot of this fluid getting moved around is old toxic stagnant fluid that is full of nasties that as it's getting shaken loose and forced to move, it's actually making me very sick, nauseous and 8 / 10 times I end up with an cellulitis episode, so yay for exercising but nay to then being sick and needing to recover.

So instead, I'm going to approach it differently, instead of set exercise times of set amounts, I'm going to aim for "lots of littles make a big" lol, exercise in little amounts often and see if maybe I can limit the repercussions until my body is able to cope better with longer amounts.

Well, that's my theory anyway, so will try that this week and see.  I need to try!

Ok that's enough for now, I'm still umming and ahhing as to posting this, not sure actually as I know people will sigh and say here we go again and as I've had quite a few people point out, I shouldn't blog as I'm not any sort of inspiration to anyone with my inadequate weight loss, I'm  obviously too big and should just give up and stop boring everyone.

So do I don't i?  Do I really want to put myself out there?  Am I brave enough?  I guess it boils down to just that.

Weighing in today

Was: 206.5 kg | 454.3 lb

Now: 205.5 kg | 452.1 lb

Lost: 1.0 kg | 2.2 lb

Wow, very happy with that result

Also I can now see out of my left eye, all blurred though but that's back to what is normal for me, just still sore and hard to see when bright sun or light but that will hopefully improve.

Legs are good too as per "normal" for me anyway, no cellulitis, no redness, minimal pain, nice :)

Very scary watching the news, listening to the radio in regards to all the bush fires around that are out of control, massive damage to houses etc and some loss of lives already and goodness knows how many native animals plus just seeing all the devastation is heart breaking.

My thoughts goes to all those fighting the fires and their families, you are all indeed silent heroes in my eyes.

Am glad though it prompted the kids and I to do some planning for the "what if" type situations as in what would we take if we had X amount of time to get out and we really thought about what was important, necessary and couldn't be replaced going down to what was not essential.  One thing I had to think about was my clothes, they were listed as important necessary, not because of how nice they were but because of my size and my legs, I couldn't just go out and replace them or wear donated clothes, horrible but true, so kids and I agreed that they'd have to be a priority too plus wheelchair again strictly for mobility. 

Housebound

Lost 500g since yesterday, weighed after night sleep, leg was down a little but by no means back to normal and sure enough, swelled back up again within an hour of sitting up

Lot of pain in the left leg too tonight, tight around the knee, above and below like a tourniquet wound too tight?  Toni tried massaging it before she went to bed,helped a little but still immense pain and I'm literally counting down minutes till I can have an Endone... 20 mins to go and counting!

Don't think I'll be up for gym tomorrow, truthfully don't think my leg would fit on the car seat properly without getting caught on the lever under the front seat, which is not only dangerous but potentially life threatening as the lever has in the past caught and tore the skin under my leg and it took ages to heal and with almost 100% certainty of a cellulitis episode! nope! I need to be extra careful.  We came up with a trick of putting a towel draped over my seat and falling to the floor over the front which covers up the lever and has been really good in helping my leg slide out without getting caught! but that's under the assumption that the leg isn't swollen, so now it is, hmm, I think I'll back housebound for a while till it goes down more :(

Ordered and paid for another 11 bracelets (10 for ChrisH) so hopefully arriving before end Oct then I can send them onto ChrisH and her girls.  Hope they like them all but I think they will, I know Toni and I love ours.

Think I need a new video card too for the PC as it's all pixelated and looks crap esp when playing games like WOW and Minecraft, I need my games!

Tired, frustrated, determined and sad, feels like I've gone backwards a lot.

Weight results - 25th Sept

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Week 6 gained +1.0 kg (cellulitis attack 2-3:00 pm straight after weighing in)

Week 7 lost -1.0 kg (now back to 2 tab twice daily Keflex)

Week 8 lost -0.8 kg

Week 9 gained +1.3 kg (cellulitis attack Tues 2.30 am, clindamycin tabs)

Week 10 gained +3.3 kg (very swollen heavy right leg)

Total in 10 weeks: -4.9 kg / 10.78 lb

Average: -0.49 kg / -1.078 lb

Previous weight: 205.3 kg / 451.70 lb

Today's weight: 208.6 kg / 458.92 lb

Very depressed about this weighing result.  Much as I know with my head it's mostly if not all due to the heaviness and swelling of the right leg as it's almost impossible to lift without help, it's really hard emotionally accepting the result.

Toni wants me to weigh each day to try and get an idea of the fluctuations plus see when my leg comes back down again, I'm just over it all to be truthful, but she won't let me give up.

She even starting tracking for me as I had given up after losing all the data couple days ago, again I just can't get motivated enough to do it right now, so she's gently pushing me

I am in so much pain tonight, can hardly swing my right leg at all and it's just so so heavy, the damn OxyContin isn't even blunting it at all, hurts so much!

Weight results - 18th Sept

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Week 6 gained +1.0 kg (cellulitis attack 2-3:00 pm straight after weighing in)

Week 7 lost -1.0 kg (now back to 2 tab twice daily Keflex)

Week 8 lost -0.8 kg

Week 9 gained +1.3 kg (cellulitis attack Tues 2.30 am, clindamycin tabs)

Total in 9 weeks: -8.2 kg / 18.04 lb

Average: -0.91kg / -2.00 lb

Previous weight: 204.0 kg / 448.80 lb

Today's weight: 205.3 kg / 451.70 lb

Frustrating, was sick early Tues morning (2:30 am) turned into another cellulitis attack and I had to go on clindamycin tablets as I was so low on Keflex that I couldn't increase it enough to cope with this episode, so now on 2 clindamycin tabs every 6 hrs plus OxyContin & panadol plus endone as needed in between.

Took a while to break the fever this time round but had no choice about staying at home as Michael had gone up the Central Coast taking my mum for her 2nd eye surgery and left home 5:30 am Tue and came back home Wed afternoon.

Mum is doing really well, now has had both eyes done with virtually no pain and she says she sees so much more clearly now which is fantastic.

If only it helps with her driving! (Lol)

My right leg is getting redder so will need to keep an eye on that but all I can do is rest, elevate, hydrate and be patient.

Oh hopefully my doctor is back from holidays so we can get more Keflex, clindamycin and endone.

Study has taken a back seat AGAIN which is frustrating, but the kids keep telling me to just focus on now, getting well then doing "normal" things again

Patience bah humbug!

Tue 17th Sept - sick AGAIN

Today was supposed to be Toni's & I girly day / night cause Michael had to drive up Central Coast to pick Mum up and take her for her eye surgery today, then he'd go back to Mum's place and wait till called to go pick her up, then he was staying the night so he could take her to her local dr Wed for checkup, then all being well, he'd be home Wed night

So Toni got our treats yesterday, our shows to watch, games to play etc

But 2:30 am bam was hit with the strongest, worse attack cellulitis for a very long time, but I made Michael go for mum, we just have to be careful here, Toni is really carefully looking after me especially since we don't have a car in case I get worse and need to go to hospital

Highest temp 38:8 atm but it's up and down as in chills and fever and shakes and wanting to throw up and my right leg is in such agony, I want to cut it off!

Gotta go I'm all over the place and can't stop crying :(

Weight record - 11th Sept 2013

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Week 6 gained +1.0 kg (cellulitis attack 2-3:00 pm straight after weighing in)

Week 7 lost -1.0 kg (now back to 2 tab twice daily Keflex)

Week 8 lost -0.8 kg

Total in 8 weeks: -9.5 kg / 20.19 lb

Average: -1.18 kg / -2.59 lb

Previous weight: 204.8 kg / 450.56 lb

Today's weight: 204.0 kg / 448.80 lb

Happy with this result

Went to gym last Fri and Tues, feeling great plus doing my exercise routines in bed as well most days.

Weight record - 4th Sept 2013

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Week 6 gained +1.0 kg (cellulitis attack 2-3:00 pm straight after weighing in)

Week 7 lost -1.0 kg (now back to 2 tab twice daily Keflex)

Total in 7 weeks: -8.7 kg / 19.14 lb

Average: -1.2 kg / -2.64 lb

Previous weight: 205.8 kg / 452.76 lb

Today's weight: 204.8 kg / 450.56 lb

Today I finish the extra Keflex tablets I've been on since this last mini episode, so now back to 2 tabs twice daily plus one OxyContin twice daily and my usual Vit D and thyroxine tablets, but a great relief to come off the extra antibiotics.

Leg has been a little bit sorer today and we found quite a large area on my leg that is infected, so Toni helped clean it up, put some cream on and we'll keep an eye on it and when my Dr returns from her holidays, I might get some advice on what antibiotic topical cream or ointment I can safely use ona lymphoedema  leg with all it's relevant skin problems.

Resting up most of today but oh yeah got my transcript from Tafe letting me know I passed Cert IV Information Technology Web Design and was eligible to receive the Certificate :) great news, now I have to concentrate on my new course.

Roll on new week.

Sat evening

So tired all the time it's frustrating, no sooner I fall asleep, hour later I'm wide awake, in pain, sweating and needing to move my legs around.

So get up, get help to shuffle to the bathroom then back to bed, get comfy, take tablets, drink, eat something, grab iPad, read or listen music then find myself falling asleep.

Hour later I'm wide awake and so on and so on, you get the point.

But I am definitely better than Wed afternoon that's for sure :)

So tomorrow I should be well enough to leave the house for dinner up at our local Inn for Mum's dinner which I am looking forward to, seeing my mum after her eye operation and giving her a big hug.

I know I will be back in bed resting as soon as they leave, but it's going to be worth it.

We've adjusted my medication a little to drop one of the pain meds back to Ad Hoc rather than every 6 hrs, I'm going to try doing without it and seeing how's the pain threshold is but not being stupid about it either, if I need it I will take it.

But I am continuing to have the twice daily OxyContin though so that's ok and I'll be dropping the Keflex back down to "normal" doses 7 days after this all flared up so next Thu I'll be back to 2 tabs twice a day which will be good, hate all these extra tablets I'm taking at moment, really upsets my stomach I'm sure!

Looking ahead, I'm hoping all being well, returning to gym on Tues afternoon, even if this one is just driving there, sitting while Toni does her workout then returning home, I just want to try going out for that length of time and seeing how my body reacts then maybe doing it again on Fri and even working out myself, anyway, play it by ear on the day I think.

Night all :)

Happy birthday Mum

Feeling a little more human tonight, was able to focus more and even felt up to eating a little which helped stop the nausea I have been struggling with recently.

Right leg is still very painful but luckily this time round no redness, so think this will be over by Sunday woohoo which means I hopefully will be up for going out for dinner as long as I agree to the kids terms of staying in bed before and afterwards to fully recover.

All in all this was by no means a "bad" attack of cellulitis as in length or severity but having said that, every attack is doing more damage to my lymphatic system and we're not sure how much more my body can take before shutting down, so not a good future but that's enough of that.

Sigh and I was all ready for going back to gym today too before this all happened, but fingers crossed, maybe Tuesday next week?

Oh mustn't forget, got a guy coming tomorrow to check out my front big tree that lookalike it's either dying or already dead :(. I planted these 4 trees 28 yrs ago and have already lost one, don't want to lose this one too but if its dead will have to get it chopped down as it is very tall and I'm scared of it falling onto the road or back towards the house.

Then I'll have to plan what to replace it with I guess, I love the privacy that the trees give us at the front hmm.

Ok head woozy now, yep just taken endone and it's kicked in now

Weight results plus cellulitis again - 28th Aug

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Week 6 gained +1.0 kg (cellulitis attack 2-3:00 pm straight after weighing in)

Total in 6 weeks: -7.7 kg / 16.94 lb

Felt absolutely horrible last few days and sure enough, weighed in today (time of month finishing yesterday) then back to bed with cold, fevers, chills, shakes, yep, full blown cellulitis attack, legs are extremely painful esp to touch and feel like they're burning up from the inside out!

So confined to bed again, and concentrating on taking all my tabs on time yeah we upped the keflex from 2 tabs twice a day to 4 tabs every six hours plus two panadol and endone and OxyContin as needed throughout the day / night.  Trying to hit this hard to allow me to a) stay at home and b) get well quicker so I can go out for my mum's birthday lunch which we're having everyone come down here for on Sunday, going up to our local Carousel Inn for dinner.

Damn asthma is also playing up, sitting here wheezing away

Ok resting now  

Weight results

Start weight: 213.5 kg / 469.7 lb

Week 1 lost -2.9 kg

Week 2 lost -3.8 kg

Week 3 lost -3.4 kg

Week 4 gained +1.8 kg

Week 5 lost -0.4 kg

Total in 5 weeks: -8.7 kg / 19.14 lb

Not a big loss by any means, but it's a loss :). So even with the legs slowly filling up again with excess lymphatic fluid, I am trying really hard to keep on track, eating well, drinking plenty of water, rest a lot, take all my medications and stay positive.

Just keep doing what I know are the right things to do and hopefully will even out in the end.

Mum had her first eye surgery on Tues and she is doing really well, Michael stayed a couple nights with her just to be sure but came home lunch time today.  He had to laugh when she kept missing picking things up etc cause she wasnt used to having one eye covered lol, she says she now knows how I feel when my eye plays up with the cold sore virus I've had, my eye goes completely white and the pressure is sky high and extremely painful for days but does disappear in bout 10 days with eye drops and ointment - usually only reoccurs when my immune system is really low like after a cellulitis attack.

Anyway same time next month she's going to have the other eye done too, so Michael will go up there again.

Toni and I had a ball here on our own :) watched girly flicks like True Blood hehehe and generally enjoyed the peace and quiet away from his constant noise lol.  We also made bread and brownies.  Yum!

Ok getting really tired here, just spent a long time talking to my guy in Melb who I miss heaps and feeling bit sensitive right now, so might go read a good book and hopefully fall asleep for please let it be at least 3 hrs straight tonight?