@ 233.2 kg   Lymphoedema   @ 207.7 kg

Every day challenges of my life, physically, mentally & emotionally.
About my family, pets, weight loss & exercise plus becoming healthier & managing my lymphoedema & other medical problems.

Thursday, October 24, 2013


Starting afresh, well not so much restarting but reaffirming?

I badly want to just be under 200 kg, I haven't got any time limits, restraints or grandiose ideas, I just want to put the 200's behind me once and for all if possible.

I know now that it's going to be an immense struggle, day by day having to juggle tracking, eating healthily, eating enough, drinking water more, Pepsi max less, move a little more often, even if just 5 mins, is better than nothing, exercise little but often, accepting that a lot of littles make up a big.

Focus more on building my immune system up, staying healthy and resting legs, this is key, the foundation of what I ultimately want to achieve which is weight loss and becoming stronger physically, mentally and emotionally.  That is the ultimate reward and my plan moving forward.

To achieve this I need to go back to basics, which includes blogging in some form, I have been on my iPad but not online and I'd like to go back to online as I loved being in contact and it helped keep me sane and feeling like I had some sort of control even when I didn't.

It also includes planning our meals, working out shopping lists and going online and ordering, I've struggled with this as I seem to drag my feet in getting organised each fortnight to do this on set days and I think I've figured it out why.  I think I was resenting online shopping because I saw it as stopping me from my only chance of getting out of the house as it seems lately IF I do get to go out, it's only to the shops, so if I start doing online shopping that's going to take away my only excuse for getting out.  Hmm not sure how to work this one out as the kids have both really drawn back from taking me out full stop.  I know it's hard work for them to take me out too and I'm now not even bothering to ask "can I go too?" as well, I guess it's easier without dragging me around as my son is very quick to point out.

So I guess, no I know, I'll start organising my online shop each fortnight.

Exercise, now this is a tricky one as it's very much a "catch 22" situation and I have to admit I'm a little lost as to how to handle it.

I'll try and explain.

When I exercise, my body is shaking and moving fluids around for example the lymphatic system needs to be manually pumped so moving my legs, ankles, calves and feet are pumping the fluid up my legs, around the body, the nodes etc and on it goes with the job of cleaning my body up of all the nasty toxins, excess protein etc

Which is great, except because of my diseases, a lot of this fluid getting moved around is old toxic stagnant fluid that is full of nasties that as it's getting shaken loose and forced to move, it's actually making me very sick, nauseous and 8 / 10 times I end up with an cellulitis episode, so yay for exercising but nay to then being sick and needing to recover.

So instead, I'm going to approach it differently, instead of set exercise times of set amounts, I'm going to aim for "lots of littles make a big" lol, exercise in little amounts often and see if maybe I can limit the repercussions until my body is able to cope better with longer amounts.

Well, that's my theory anyway, so will try that this week and see.  I need to try!

Ok that's enough for now, I'm still umming and ahhing as to posting this, not sure actually as I know people will sigh and say here we go again and as I've had quite a few people point out, I shouldn't blog as I'm not any sort of inspiration to anyone with my inadequate weight loss, I'm  obviously too big and should just give up and stop boring everyone.

So do I don't i?  Do I really want to put myself out there?  Am I brave enough?  I guess it boils down to just that.


  1. Why are you blogging, to be an inspiration to others, or are you doing it for yourself, one thing about the internet, is if you put yourself out there, you have to be strong enough to take the good and the bad. There are always going to be people out there that will hate on you just because... Go out for a coffee or something, get Michael to take you, he is paid to be your carer. Use your outings as fun rather than groceries (though I enjoy grocery shopping). If possible plan one afternoon a week or morning a week depending on if you are better afternoon or mornings, and tell Michael so that he knows thats the day you are going out. Remember you are his boss, he gets paid to care for you :). There you go thats my input :).

  2. I agree with Jackie about making the outing a fun one. You can't sit at home all the time - it's not good for you mentally. I get that it is hard work for them, but one outing a week for a coffee or something isn't that much for your sanity. Is there somewhere you could walk to if the car is too hard?

    In terms of blogging, a lot of us are doing the same thing. While we may not all be as big as you, that is no reason to stop. Your blog, whether it is going well in Anne world or not, continues to inspire me because it is real and honest, and guess what? Precisely because you keep going in the face of such adversity and setbacks it reminds me that I can too: that I don't have to give up hope for a better, easier life. Please keep blogging if it helps you. I like you saying "reaffirming" rather than restarting - it's not like your idea of what you need has dramatically changed. It's just a renewed commitment to keep trying to do what you know you aspire to. I am here for you, as I know many other of your supporters are. Thinking of you, Penny xo

  3. Anne, keep blogging. I check frequently to see if there is a post from you, because I know no matter what you have blogged, be it good or bad in the life of Anne, I know its because its you, its real, its honest and never boring. The strength you have to cope with your illness amazes me….so yes in my eyes you are brave.Put it out there.

    And yes…I agree with the others, make the kids take you out, a walk in the park, a coffee….just something for you enjoy.

  4. Who the hell says you shouldn't blog? I will punch their face in, I swear!
    You are an inspiration to ME... and I'm sure heaps more out there too.
    You NEVER EVER GIVE UP. You have so much shit you have to live with, yet you always bounce back. YOU ROCK. And yes, try small times with the exercise, try to minimise the 'damage' you do in relation to toxic fluids getting pumped around your body. Just keep on trying Chick. I do believe that one day you will get under the 200!

  5. Keep blogging Anne, you have many true friends who even though like myself have never met you, admire you for your strength and your honesty and integrity. I always look to see if you have written on your blog. Do this for you though,not to please others. There is so much love for you so do not take on board any negative comments, Those people who criticize you and make hurtful comments are ignorant and have no empathy. They have no idea what you have to endure and yet you always bounce back. Never,ever give up you are going to get to your first goal of being under 200kg.You have done it before and you will again. xxx


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