New Year's Eve 2012

Mins to go before we see the end of 2012

Been a tough and unforgiving year in many ways, my health and mobility taking a real step backwards as well as the death of my sister Lynne in March due to cancer.

Then ending 2012 back on antibiotics plus 24/7 bed rest from cellulitis has really   knocked me around and for a little bit, I was really starting to doubt my ability to keep going, but after talking to my kids, as usual, they helped me focus on the positives in my life and has made me more determined than ever to finally take control back of my medical / health situation which will in turn help with my weight loss and fitness.

Small steps.

No drastic plans, no dieting, just keeping things simple, basic and manageable, one day at a time and learning that even though my life feels out of my control on so many aspects doesn't make it impossible, just makes it more rewarding when I do finally end up heading in the right direction.

One thing I was going to stop was this blog, I felt that since I wasn't losing, wasn't successful, in fact my life was extraordinarily boring that I was being a fool in keeping it going, actually I'm still umming and ahhing, but for now, here is the last post for 2012, I may be back 1st Jan determined to keep my blog open, we will see.

Christmas Eve 2012

Hot, muggy, steamy, feels like a storm coming but it's all just wishful thinking...
Kids asleep, dogs are tucked away in their kennel, cat is snoring on one of the kid's bed.

And I'm awake :)

Merry Christmas to you all and I wish you all a very happy and enjoyable day with your families.

I'll be back before New Years, so until then, good night and God bless you all and to those who are no longer with us here on earth, I remember you with love and bittersweet memories.

I miss you most of all Lynne, our first Christmas without you just feels so wrong somehow.

Friday 8th Dec - Weigh Day

Fri 8th Dec

Original Weight: 233.2 kg (2010)
Last week's Weight: 206.8 kg
Current Weight: 206.0 kg
Weekly Weight loss: -0.8 kg
Overall loss: -27.2 kg

Still sick with whatever this is, it's not the usual cellulitis that attacks my right leg, this is the left one and just above the knee where there is usually a slight bulge, is massively swollen and has now become bigger than my left leg, new skin is stretching to hold all this fluid and that is the most painful feeling ever, harder to walk as I have to relearn how to balance my legs

No amount of resting or legs up have made this fluid move so if I'm still like this on Mon, I will go back to the Dr's and beg for help as I haven't been in so much pain even while taking strong doses Painkillers every 4 hours as I am right now.

Yes, I prob should go to hospital, but again, I'll see what happens over the weekend (stubborn I know)

BUT I had a loss regardless this week so that is good.

Toni ended up going to gym this week on her own as I wasn't up for it and apparently she had a great time LOL :)

Ok, rest time for me, catch you all later

Sunday 2nd Dec

Cellulitis left leg, extreme pain, redness and now running fever
Spending day in bed plus antibiotics and Endone
Cross fingers I improve without having to be admitted into hospital

Friday 30th November - Weigh Day

Fri 30th Nov

Original Weight: 233.2 kg (2010)
Last week's Weight: 208.2 kg
Current Weight: 208.2 kg
Weekly Weight loss: -1.4 kg
Overall loss: -26.4 kg

Last day of Spring, then it's fast track to Christmas and New Year, this year has been a complete blur to me, sorta glad to see it end and bring in new beginnings, sad to see 2012 end and with it certain memories and feelings.

Anyway, enough of that, today I weighed in and lost 1.4 kg woohoo :) AND as a family, we all lost total of -3.1 kg, yay, go us LOL :) 

Toni lost 0.7 and Michael lost 1.0 kg, not bad at all.

Went to gym today, bloody hot though, 39+ degrees and we sweltered driving there and back, thank god though the gym was air conditioned and when we got home, both air conds (lounge room and mine) were doing their job nicely, so didn't take long to cool down afterwards.

Felt good though at gym, Mel is really committed to helping me and boy she made me sweat hard through our boxing workout today - loved it though :)

Our new dishwasher is definitely making itself at home LOL, kids are using it and I'm finally getting some order back into my kitchen and my plans for total organisation of the kitchen cupboards, fridge / freezer etc are all coming to fruition.

In case I haven't said before, my mum (and my brother in law, my niece and nephew) are all coming to my place Christmas day for dinner and that's a really big deal in a couple ways and for us (kids and me) we have to really plan what we need to do leading up to Christmas in preparing the house etc for this..

I'll explain tomorrow LOL it will all make sense, I'm just so tired tonight I think I'll head off to bed early and get some rest (sleep, wake up in 1.5 hours, then have to wait till pain killers kick in and legs stop hurting as much then fall asleep for another 1.5 hours no more then do all over again, my typical night, I'm lucky if I get 4 hours a night unfortunately, but I'm used to that, cept lately I'm just not catching up at all)

Saturday 1st December

Dec is now here, first day officially Summer and boy was it hot! Was over 39.0 degrees most of the day with frequent rolls of thunder late afternoon but no real storms to help break the humidity, hopefully in next few days we will have one hell of a storm to help cool things down for a while.

Today though I slept so much as I was in some intense pain in my right leg which was frustrating as I had / was hoping to organise plans etc for the coming weeks before Christmas, oh well, such is my life.

Nothing much else to report, see, my blog is SO boring compared to others sigh, hmm.

Am on track though, exercising, drinking plenty water and started taking my multi vitamin tablet today too, the tablet is HUGE though eeek, but I managed to swallow it without gagging, yeah, go me!

Ok that's me for today :)

Wed 28th Nov - blog taken over

Hello, I have taken over mums blog. Mwahahahahahahaha

Enjoying dishwasher too much LOL

Toni

Fri 23rd Nov - Back again

No excuses, just accepting my limitations & doing the best I can in spite of them!

No matter how long it takes!

But I will not let this disease define me, it might hinder me, but it will not defeat me.

That quote above has been haunting me for a long time, it was something I had written a while ago but have struggled lately to actually believe.

I have been silent for so long that its become deafening, I feel alone, drifting with no real purpose, bouncing from one attack of cellulitis to another, from hospital "imprisonment" to home "confinement" with one day blending into each other, I feel lost, confused, tired and most of all, defeated and I hate these feelings!

There were some periods of good times in amongst all this, for example having my bathroom renovated (looks fantastic - will post photos later on), meeting a wonderful old lady called "Nancy" who was opposite me when I was in hospital couple weeks ago and she and I just connected like I have never done before plus we bonded further while in hospital the patient in the bed next to me died violently in front of us (had emphysema and suffocated vomiting up blood, very sudden, very awful)

Anyway Nancy and I meet up on Thursday's for morning tea up the local shops and just chat about everything including the fact Nancy is on borrowed time, she's over 80 yrs old and end stage lung cancer and under palliative care so as you can understand, it was / is really hard for me to get closer to her as I didn't want to go through the pain of losing her like I did with my sister, but what we both are getting from our friendship far out weighs the pain I known will experience in the near future.

But other times the sheer overwhelming scope of the amount of weight I need to lose, my increasing lack of mobility and increased pain levels just makes it so hard to even focus on where even begin to start again.

At the moment it's also so confronting with so many people trying to "tell" you the "right, wrong" way to eat, move, not eat, and so on and doctors that tell you "why bother as its too hard", "you're too big so give up" etc that all messes with my head and clouds the issues even more.

In fact the main thing I have learnt these past weeks is that what works for you, mightn't work for me and vice versa and that's ok! We are all unique and it makes total sense that what best serves our bodies will also be unique and individual so rather than trying to please everyone else or fit in with whatever trend plan is currently popular, I need to focus on what will work best for me and my "unique" body, my health and physical limitations, lifestyle, family situation, environment, and economics. Phew mouthful to say, but in essence, do what is best and works for me.

And that's ok!

I'm going to leave it there for tonight, I'll be back tomorrow hopefully a little clearer and with a better understanding of what's next for me, need time to accept the numbers and to realise that I am worth better than what I think.

Not sure if anyone still reads my blog anymore but for the record stats are as follows (weighed in today)

Fri 24th Nov
Original Weight: 233.2 kg (2010)
Current Weight: 208.2 kg
Overall loss: -25.0 kg

Sun 16th Sept

Again only couple hours sleep then pain / legs gets me up again, so decided to sit back and watch the sun coming up - turned into another blue sky, nice breeze, sunshiny type of day - love Spring :)

Went back to bed about 10.00 after tablets, but after tossing turning for 1.5 hours I knew I wasn't going to have any sleep, so just laid back in bed and read - love my Iphone for all the ebooks I can have on there at my beck and call.

Back up for lunch, watched online recordings of "The Block NZ" (love that show) and just generally pottered around till later in afternoon when I went down for "brief" nap that turned into 2 hours!  Hmm LOL :)

Legs still haven't shown any release in fluid pressure (still feel like they're going to burst through my skin) nor in size but the tabs are controlling the pain a little better which is a major plus.

Dr did want me on slow release morphine based tablets, but I was nervous about that as I had that in hospital and was violently sick so we stopped it and reversed back to Endone (oxycodone) which does work and now I'm taking it every 6 hours for next 20 days, hopefully will help my body to finally relax and start to heal.

Didn't do any study this weekend or work on the online shop I'm setting up for "Slotz-A-Fun Slot Cars" (my sister's and brother in law's business - now my nephew has become partners with his dad (my brother in law) after Lynne passed away)

Sigh anyway, day 2 of tracking is going well, just about to go and have a late dinner so good night and see you all tomorrow :)

Sat 15th Sept

First day back tracking full time and eating good meals throughout the day (normally I pick and not eat much at all which doesn't help in my weight loss believe it or not LOL)

So WW has put me on 66 points and I  had 59 points and felt great, even had plenty of rests throughout the day (thanks to pain killers) but only for hour here and there but add them up they count I'm sure.

Night time sleep is still elusive though, only again 1 or 2 hours at a time and that is frustrating but a side effect of lymphoedema in legs I'm afraid.

Anyway, not got much else to say so taking my 12.00 (midnight) tablets and heading off to bed to read / fall asleep / read / fall asleep pattern.

Fri 14th Sept - Weigh Day

Original weight: 233.2 kg
Restart weight: 212.9 kg - 14th Sept (Fri)

Been a while I know, it's been a pretty horrible last few weeks and it shows on the scales - I am suffering pretty badly with my legs being the most swollen they have been for a very long time and oh so heavy, to even get up and lift them so I can walk is excruciating and now I'm back being housebound as I cannot fit in the car (but forced myself today so I could see the doctor as she was worried bout me and wanted to discuss options for my medical treatment - more on that later)

So, I'm now 212.9 kg and yes I know it's mostly lymphatic fluid but it's still upsetting to see those numbers and remember a time last year when I was trying to get below 172.0 but I will focus on here and now and not stress about what was.

Doctor has now put me on max dose of antibiotics for next 20 days, plus she's given me a "special" script to allow me to have enough Endone (Pain tablets - oxycodone) for next 20 days as well, she wants me to take 1 tab 4 times daily.

I also had blood taken today vials and vials of it LOL she ordered extra tests to try and see what's going on in regards to lingering infections etc as well as my other levels ( Vit B12, Vit D, thryroid, iron etc)

Negatives:

- housebound again.
- I can just get in the car but struggle to shut the door against my legs as they're so swollen now they're literally being pushing into the console (right leg) and the door (left leg) so once the door is shut, I cannot move the legs at all
- way over 200 kg again
- Pain almost 24/7 and even though I am pretty tolerant of pain over the years, these past few weeks have been off the charts
- I'm crabby, miserable, emotionally drained, bursting in tears at drop of hat (even at the doctor's surgery today)
- can't get to gym
- sitting in wheelchair for longer than 20 mins isn't possible anymore as the legs swell up even more

Positives:

- I haven't given up
- I can go back to tracking and eating regular meals, regular times
- Got enough pain killers now for next 20 days (4 x per day) which should hopefully allow me some sleep as well
- I can exercise from home in chair or bed
- I can still enjoy my sunshine from the bed
- I can still bop around to my favourite music
- I can get the weight down no matter how long or how slowly
- I'm alive!

I can't give up and I won't give in, I just have to take each day as it comes with all it's up and downs and remain positive and focused in spite of it all.

Thu 6th Sept

waves madly to everyone

I'm still here, just struggling really badly at moment physically as my legs have both swollen to the point I am unable to get into the car again for the past week.

Pain as you can imagine with the skin stretching so much and so much fluid is excruciating and I am on hourly pain meds, so pretty much out of things.

Luckily my Dr has been fantastic, she's been in contact with me via phone (unfortunately she's not allowed to do house calls but she approves scripts over the phone and my daughter picks them up from the medical centre) and on Fri, Toni is going in to see her and report in on my progress as Dr DeVera has now upped my antibiotics and issued more painkillers etc to see if we can start decreasing the sheer size of my legs and fluid.

It's like lifting bags of cement and trying to walk, even a few steps out of bed to the bathroom is agony and you wouldn't be in a rush either believe me as it takes me FOREVER to get there :(

BUT enough doom and gloom, I just wanted to update and let you know I'm still around, on computer via bed and iphone, so please drop me a message, have a chat, txt me whatever :) just feels good to still touch base with you all

Plus, been beautiful weather too so kids have been opening the blinds and front door in my room to let the sunshine and breeze in, again, just to make me feel less enclosed in and it's working... barely LOL

Sad thing is I have had to cancel gym last week and now again this week, :( but as Mel said, nothing stopping me from going back and doing my arm exercises etc in bed, so that's a definite thing I'll be doing.

Fri 17th Aug - Weigh Day

Previous weight: 199.9 kg | 439.8 lb
Current weight: 199.9 kg | 439.8 lb
Lost / Gained: -0.5 kg | -1.1 lb

2012 weight loss: -8.3 kg | -18.3 lb

Total overall loss: -33.8 kg | -74.4 lb

Weekly Weight Records
updated

500 gram loss this week thank you very much :) 

Stopped antibiotics yesterday (ran out and decided it was time to stop anyway) so hoping that I have fully recovered from this bout (cross fingers)

Went to gym yesterday for my weights session which was very hard, then went back today for my boxing session which was insane!

Mel (trainer) actually made me cry during workout which was funny LOL I was working so hard that when it came to rest 30 secs, for some reason I was bawling but I don't know why? LOL

Did she let up on me?.. Hell no! lol :)  Was a great workout and looking forward to relaxing over the weekend.

Toni by the way lost 2.1 kg this week, go her!  She's doing really well going to gym twice week with me and making healthier choices for herself in regards to what she eats and drinks which is fantastic, very proud of her.

We're planning on going up to my mum's up the Central Coast Sun week as it's her 80th birthday.  I know after my sister died, mum refused to even celebrate her birthday and made me promise not to do anything this year (my sister was actually planning a big party but of course we've put all that aside)

But, my brotherinlaw and I decided that we all needed to be together if not on the actual day (which is Thu) if the kids and I came up on Sun before, we are going to pick mum up for "afternoon tea" which I've already ok'ed with her, but what she doesn't know is we're then going to drive her up to my sister's place and John (Lynne's husband) is going to make dinner (he's over the moon about showing us he can cook LOL) and my niece and nephew will be there too.. so not a big celebration but just a nice family dinner

Do you think she'd be upset with me for this?  I know she said no big deal, but it's her 80th and I'm sure Lynne would be pretty pissed off if I let it go without any sort of celebration?

Also, Mum and I have a running joke with mum always saying she's losing her marbles and me always responding with "I'll buy you a bag then " LOL

Well, I bought a bag of marbles to give her.. I want to make her smile.. and I know she has everything she needs, and I will be buying her a gift voucher at he favourite Christian Bookstore, but I thought the marbles would be something she and I would share the meaning of?.. Again, do you guys think it's stupid?

Yawnnnn I'm so tired, I might head off early..

Let me know what you guys think :) thanks..

Fri 10th Aug

Previous weight: 199.6 kg | 439.1 lb
Current weight: 199.9 kg | 439.8 lb
Lost / Gained: +0.3 kg | -0.7 lb

2012 weight loss: -7.8 kg | -17.2 lb

Total overall loss: -33.3 kg | -73.3 lb

Weekly Weight Records

updated

Woke up Mon or was it Tue ?morning full blown cellulitis attack (fevers, shakes, chills) the works, miserable and mostly out of things for next 24 hrs - tablets, sleep, toilet, tablets, sleep, toilet etc.. but Toni took me to the doctors for quick check up (condition of me not being put into hospital) and given more tablets and told to keep doing what we were doing - thanks kids as per usual, fantastic nurses both of you.

Doctor of course banned me from gym this week (sad) but I am complying without complaining too much LOL plus it gives my back plenty time to rest, actually it feels pretty good considering all the shaking I was doing for hours, maybe I tweaked it back into place?

Anyway, I felt a little better and weighed in on Friday afternoon - gained 300 grams which is pffft nothing - so moving on to new week - hopefully recovering completely quicker so I can go to gym next Thu LOL :)

Ok, I'm only allowed up for up to 1.5 hours then back to bed or chair, so I have some study I need to setup before I'm kicked off computer.

Night all :)  hmmm looking forward to fish and chips for dinner tonight yummy.

And big thanks to everyone who messaged me with hugs and best wishes... I really do appreciate that, thank you :) made me feel warm and fuzzy :)

Heard nothing yet regarding the renovations :(

Thu 9th Aug

Back in the land of the living, I think.

Another attack of cellulitis, this time quite a bad episode, but thankfully I was put on the max doses of clindamycin antibiotics, plus panadol and painkillers with the agreement that if I was still in pain to increase to two tablets 4 x daily (I get knocked out at one, so wasn't looking forward to seeing what 2 do to me, but the pain was so intense but I have to admit, I chickened out on taking two)

Anyway the doctor banned me from gym this week (sad) and I am drinking so much water that I am feeling very bloated, but I have to drink this much when sick to help float the toxins out of my body from the stagnant lymph / excess protein fluid that builds up in my legs from the lymphoedema which then leads to cellulitis which then leads to me being very sick for days emptying my body out of all the bad stuff then back to being normal for a while then rinse and repeat basically.

Not looking forward to weighing in tomorrow, but part of the cycle of my life unfortunately.

Good news is hopefully that is LOL the Fusion people were meeting today for their review of pending renovation cases they have in front of them for disabled funding and my case was due to be heard (cross fingers)

I do hope we got approved!  Can't wait to hear :(

Had my online class last night but couldn't attend as I was in la la land :( and I'm only allowed out of bed for max 1 hr at a time so feeling pretty frustrated but so tired.

Dr was pleased to see me though yesterday even tho I was sick, she was glad to hear I was on top of my thyroxine and scheduled me in for blood tests next week after I get over this little set back.

She was however a little worried about the ferocity of this episode as it did come on so strong so fast and really knocked me for six.. .oh well.

I know I'm all over the place sorry, my mind is mush and I'm just typing as I think and ohhhh I put up on FB some photos from me in bed showing how gorgeous it was outside (that I could see from in bed LOL), having my blinds wide opened and my front door (that leads into my room) wide opened too, sunshine and cool breeze, what a combo, really perked my spirits up as I was feeling so down yesterday / today, hate feeling so sick, scares me each time that this might be the time the infection gets into my bloodstream and well, I'll leave it there.

Ok, tired now, been what 10 mins up and I'm already exhausted.

Love to hear from you all on FB or here.. I can answer msgs from my phone so please msg this poor old sick lonely miserable hahah LOL ok.. just msg me LOL :)

Fri 3rd Aug - Weigh Day

Previous weight: 197.5 kg | 434.5 lb
Current weight: 199.6 kg | 439.1 lb
Lost / Gained: +2.1 kg | -4.6 lb

2012 weight loss: -8.1 kg | -17.8 lb

Total overall loss: -33.6 kg | -73.9 lb

Weekly Weight Records

updated

Went to gym yesterday (Thu) and must have overdone it a fair bit as my back by last night was killing me, hurt to even get up and roll over, let alone walk, arrggh but by today (morning) it felt almost normal, so decided to go ahead and go to gym as it was my boxing session and I so did not want to miss that.

So took it easier and did lots of stretches as per Mel's instruction and will continue to stretch throughout tonight.

Now for weigh in results, - gained 2.1 kg this week.  Not happy it's a gain, BUT I am ok about it as I know it's probably my body just catching up with all the huge losses I have done over the past few weeks.

To put it in perspective, over the past 4 weeks I have lost 9.6 kgs (avg: 2.4 kg per week) and that's not a bad average at all.

Plus there are other things to be positive about: I am able to get in and out of the car a little easier, plus my legs aren't as squished once I'm in the car, plus I have lost cm's around my stomach, thighs and legs (I measure for my lymphoedema)

AND even though I'm feeling extremely tired all the time, at least my thyroxine seems to be working and further blood tests next week will help determine what dosage I might need to go on plus iron supplements etc.

So, I'm ok about the gain :)

Refocusing on new week, working out food plans and shopping, plus still limiting my not so good foods as per usual (even though I have the points, I am preferring to eat quality over quantity)

Anyway, enough rambling, I've just downloaded heaps of Clive Cussler Ebooks and I'm going to sit in comfy chair, warm room and read :)

Sat 28th July

In celebration of my over 10.0 kg loss, Michael and I went to see the movie "Batman" at the theatre (Toni was over at her boyfriend's place and they went to see it at same time as us lol) and it was fantastic - plus I could sit in one of the chairs which made it so much more comfortable for whole movie than my wheelchair!

Then we went home and Michael said he'd make us lunch (hotdogs), put the pot of water on the stove to boil (I was in my room) then after few minutes, I could hear crackling and smell smoke, first thought was, "shit, he's boiled the pot dry" but then he yelled out "fire" and I bolted out my room and yep, flames were coming from the top of the stove, quite high and the smoke was almost so thick you couldn't see.

I asked if it was electrical and he said he didn't think so but he had on top of the stove my electric frying pan plus plastic, cardboard / rubbish etc and when he turned the element on, he put the one under the frying pan, wrong one duh! and it all caught alight and whoosh, flames, smoke, one very very embarrassed and apologetic son.

I had gone off at him I don't know how many times for putting things on top of the stove as I have a more than paranoid fear of stove fires cause my kitchen / dining room were gutted years ago when the kids were babies due to faulty wiring at the back of the stove and I ended up having insurance have to repaint, recarpet, vinyl, new blinds etc throughout the house cause of smoke, fire and water / foam damage

So I was more than mad that this could have been avoided!  But a lesson learnt I guess, luckily, no flame damage, but lots of smoke has seeped into cupboards, walls etc behind and up above the stove and even though we've had all doors open pretty much all night, it's still extremely smoky still

Tomorrow we'll open up again and maybe get some sugar soap to wash down the walls, cupboards etc, not too sure what else to do, the element has burnt plastic etc cooked on it, so have to get that off too arrggghh.

Tell you what if I find anything on top of the stove again that's not part of something been cooked there and then, I'm grabbing it and throwing it in his room!

I did ring 000 as I was scared the fire might get out of control and they said that was the right thing to do and said they'd come out and check it was out etc but they told Michael they wouldn't come with lights and siren LOL

Blow me down if they didn't turn up in the biggest fire truck LOL with 3 HOT firemen, 2 completely decked out in all the protective gear incl helmets LOL and marched up to the door LOL - Michael was SO embarrassed but serves him right!

They checked it all out, said we did good, Michael got a little talking to (we got busted for not having smoke alarm which again Michael had kept putting off putting it up (goest up tomorrow!) then they left.

So all in all, an eventful day - tiring and I'm a bit wheezy tonight with a really bad headache. got my fan on full and will be wrapping myself up in doona to go to sleep.

Stayed on points, tracked and NO snacks at the pictures either - good eh? :)

Fri 27th July - Weigh Day

Previous weight: 202.2 kg | 444.8 lb
Current weight: 197.5 kg | 434.5 lb
Lost / Gained: -4.7 kg | -10.3 lb

2012 weight loss: -10.2 kg | -22.4 lb

Total overall loss: -42.8 kg | -94.2 lb

Weekly Weight Records

updated

3 weeks in a row people :) I am so happy I can't tell you .. I honestly thought getting on the scales there'd be a gain and I was already ok about that as I know my history of big losses followed by small gains, up and down etc, but nope, 5.1 kg then 1.9 kg then 4.7 kg - 3 weeks in a row!

OK , enough of that.. back to business, I now go down in points again this week to 62 which is WW's default daily points balance for my size.  But I have been actually eating up to 10 pts less daily than that over the past 3 weeks and that seems to have been what my body needed, I'm eating more than enough to sustain me and keep me full and that's the main thing.

Today I had my boxing session with Mel at Curves and she whooped my ass literally!  I was sweating buckets within the first 10 mins and the next 20 or so after that was a blur - she wanted to see how far I could go and kept upping the ante on me and the sad thing was?  I ENJOYED IT :)

I loved it so much and she really seemed to like working me out so hard that we've made it a permanent booking @ 2.00 pm every Friday - YAY go me.. I love boxing in case you can't tell :)

So Thur will be my weights session and Fri my boxing :)  Can't get better than that.

I promised some people that I would reluctantly put up some photos of my new / old hair colour.. I was really white blonde till bout 13 yrs then ash blonde till I was pregnant at 15, then my hair just got darker and darker.. so we decided since Toni wanted to make my hair look as young as I am hahaha (her words LOL - not the haha that's me LOL) - I said on condition I just went back to ash blonde, no more blonder than that and I have to say, I think she did an ok job :)

Pity I look so old LOL oh well.. she wants me to cut my hair too to shoulder length?.. I'm not too sure about that, though I have noticed since I've been taking Thyroxine these past what is it 5 weeks?  my hair has become thicker, healthier and shinier - go figure?  Looks like Thyroxine has done a lot for my body which is fantastic.

Ok, I have updated Weight Records page and Milestone page (links up top) and I can't wait to see what happens in the coming weeks, I'm close to getting my 100 lbs milestone back and then 50 kgs back too - can't wait :)

Thu 26th Jul

Sweet, went to gym today, had an awesome workout, yawned a lot though LOL god, can't wait to get the blood test done early Aug which hopefully will find a) my dosage of thyroxine is spot on and b) my iron levels are low (strange to want it to be not a good result, but would definitely explain all the tiredness and absolute blahness I'm feeling right now)

I feel like I did before I started taking my iron tablets a while ago and since my last blood test was normal in iron, my doctor ordered me to stop taking them for six weeks to see if any difference in the levels, well, I'm not sure bout the levels but I am sure about the effects :(  I don't mind going back on tablets if it gives me back my "up and go" feeling.

Tonight Toni decided to colour my hair again as she insisted that since I'm a "young" mummy, I needed to keep my hair looking young without grey hairs etc LOL so.. I decided to take my hair back to it's original colour which was ash blonde (I went darker after I had my first child).

I might put pictures up.. or I might not LOL not sure how I look actually sigh :)

Anyway, enough rambling, I'm actually off to bed before midnight shock horror LOL - hopefully tomorrow is BOXING :)

Food wise 100%
Tracking 100%
Water 100%
Exercise 30 mins

:)

Mon 23rd Jul

Toni's first day back at Tafe and my first day back studying from home oh well, I have to admit I love studying esp anything to do with computers and / or web design

On the legs front tho, weird stuff going on, just general pain all over as per usual but combined with total exhaustion, I'm just feeling "off"? Bah I'm hoping it passes soon, I hate not even feeling like my music or bopping around.

On the tracking front :) still 100% no problems there at all plus having good variety of foods / meals.

Ok going to rest again sigh.

Sun 22nd Jul

Early start today, couldn't sleep past 5.00 am so decided to get up and get started on my tafe work - creating a flash picture gallery - lots of fun.

Had an early breakfast which was toast and Vegemite yummy lol then later when Toni woke up, she made lunch for us of toasted cheese sandwiches.

Tonight I think we'll end having chicken Kiev plus vegies.

Sigh it's only 3.00 pm and I'm exhausted again, might rest for a bit, back later.

Fri 20th July

Previous weight: 204.1 kg | 449.0 lb
Current weight: 202.2 kg | 444.8 lb
Lost / Gained: -1.9 kg | -4.2 lb

2012 weight loss: -5.5 kg | -12.1 lb

Total overall loss: -32.6 kg | -71.7 lb

Weekly Weight Records

Boxing boxing boxing, had a ball of a time at gym today, but so exhausted afterwards and unfortunately by later tonight my legs were killing me, but took and Endone, writing this really quickly and heading off to bed.

Weigh in results - LOST 1.9 kg this week :) - two weeks of losses must admit though, was really nervous today, but it helped going to gym first then weighing in.

Couple things I'm changing from my weigh day regime in the past, firstly I am eating breakfast and lunches before weighing in the afternoon, secondly, I am now going to be weighing in earlier, used to be round 6.00 pm or so, now I'm going to do it after I get back from gym, so gym then home about 3 - 3.30 pm and weighing then, little changes, but I want to establish a healthier weigh day routine than I used to.. which I have to admit was eat nothing, drink nothing all day till after weighing in.  (I still kept within points, just spread them out over the night)

Stupid I know, but now I'm hoping to establish this new routine which I have done for the last 2 weeks.

Points wise / tracking 100% again this week, very happy with that, plus gym 2 times as well.

Legs are not too bad considering either, have to find some sort of non greasy moisturising cream for my legs to help prevent skin cracking and softening the areas that have become hardened due to the disease - any suggestions please feel free to message me here or on FB - warning, I do have very sensitive skin due to excema plus I bruise very easily as well (some creams over time cause the skin to be bruised more easily and I need to avoid those)

Had a long talk with my mum tonight which I really needed and enjoyed, she helped me put into perspective some things with my son which was comforting to hear - a major breakthrough between her and I :)

Ok tablets kicking in, I'm off to sleep hopefully, see you all on here later tomorrow or on FB - drop me a line there, I'd love to hear from you.. gets lonely sometimes.

Thu 19th Jul

Went to the gym this afternoon, fitted in car better than the other day, so that's a major plus, also "tom" is almost gone, so that too is really good, just have to see if I get them again next month.

At gym, Danielle told me that Mel had some boxing stuff ready for my next time I go which apparently is tomorrow? LOL - Toni has her new timetable for her Tafe classes this coming semester starting next week, so we're going to go to gym on Thu and Friday's all going well.

Which means, tomorrow is BOXING :)  I'm so so excited to be doing this again and since Mel is a qualified boxing instructor, I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.

Apart from the cold, was a beautiful sunny blue sky day today, gorgeous to be out in the car too, thanks Toni as always for taking me.

Food wise 100% again, this tracking caper I enjoy go figure LOL - dinner tonight was curried sausages with roasted vegetables and steamed vegetables - filling, healthy and very tasty.

Legs have been up and down as usual, pins and needles in the feet but that soon wore off, so think I might have pinched a nerve in the leg unknowingly which considering I have lost a lot of feeling / sensation in parts of my legs isn't surprising.

But the blisters have been quite soft tonight, not as full with lymph fluid as usual and that means less pain which is always a major plus :)

Ok, rest time for me, so looking forward to tomorrow :)

Wed 18th Jul

Been a rough few days with the arrival of a very late "tom" but thankfully things are settling down again and the next thing will be to wait and see what happens next month.

Good thing is maybe the thyroxine is working? Can't wait till its time for blood tests to see.

Dinner tonight was lamb forequarters covered with salt reduced French onion soup mix and wrapped in alfoil with potato, sweet potato, pumpkin and carrots all wrapped individually in alfoil and cooked in the oven, steamed vegies on the side and voila very tasty and filling dinner indeed.

Tracking 100% enjoying writing everything down, gives me sense of control

I'm writing this again from iPhone and I'll see if I can post a pic again for you all.

If it works, it will be a pic they took of Darren & I when he was here last Sunday

Tue 17th Jul

Been a quiet weekend, with one exception, after 3 months or so, my periods returned on Sun with a vengeance, obviously the thyroxine is starting to work (crosses fingers) and this is the first sign - though I don't like "tom" LOL it was reassuring to have it return as I was starting to think I was heading for menopause.

Oh and Darren didn't text or call, typical, I had my hopes up I have to admit, but nothing, I have txted him but nothing either, so here we go again, hope it's not another 5 years before I hear / see him again?  Least at the moment his phone is still connected this time round.

Food / tracking 100% and I have not forgotten my thyroxine either every morning like clockwork :)  (helps I have a pill tracker on my iphone that keeps track of all my medications and times etc, comes in very handy when I go on clindamycin etc)

Spoke to Vish my OT today and the plans for the new bathroom should be arriving this week or early next week for my signature - wooohoo, then we wait for the disability board to meet on 9th Aug for final approval then it's off to builders for quotes (they choose 3 to go with and narrow it down from there)

Can't wait :)  Big changes ahead, that's what I'm focusing on now, nothing else.

Back later hopefully with round up of today.

Fri 13th Jul - Weigh Day

Previous weight: 209.2 kg | 460.2 lb
Current weight: 204.1 kg | 449.0 lb
Lost / Gained: -5.1 kg | -11.2 lb

2012 weight loss: -3.6 kg | -7.9 lb

Total overall loss: -27.1 kg | -59.6 lb

Weekly Weight Records

After buckling down the past couple months and eating back up to points again (was hardly eating since my birthday / my sister's passing), exercising when I could, my weight was just not budging and in fact with the increased volume of fluid in my legs, I was just getting heavier, more in pain and frustrated.

But after taking my doctor's advice, I started taking thyroxine 2 weeks ago and we doubled my Vit D tablets as well.

Last week of course, was another gain and I just cried and cried, but my doctor did tell me it takes up to 3 weeks for thyroxine to kick in and even then because I"m on the lowest dose, there could be lots of tweaking amounts with each lot of blood tests, so she told me to not stress out if things didn't turn around quite yet.

So, in another 4 weeks, I'm going back for more blood tests to see if I need more thyroxine and if my levels in Vit D have improved and if my iron and Vit B12 still are at good levels  -  so I am prepared for this to take some time but at least we're working on all parts of my health which is a good thing.

Exercise this week I did make it to gym once, the legs were not quite as swollen so I could fit in the car, just, but because they are so lop sided in weight, it threw my back out and that screwed me up for the rest of the week - sigh.

BUT I did track as per usual 100%, I don't mind tracking and if I forget something, Toni is very quick to put it in for me LOL :)

AND I did lose 5.1 kg this week :)