My middle son, Darren, whom I haven't seen or heard from in nearly 5 years, turned up today at our house.
To say I was over the moon is an understatement :) When I saw him at the end of the hallway, I just ran, yes ran to him with arms opened wide and the best thing is he met me half way and just hugged me for the longest time - yes we both cried, but I had missed him oh so much and wondered every day if he was still alive, well, happy.
He apologised for being away so long and explained that he had been in a really bad headspace for the longest time and has only since he's been with his girlfriend has he been able to turn his life around.
He no longer has anything to do with the wild crowd he used to run with and barely has anything to do with his father either who he now admits he wishes he never chose to go with him after the divorce.
But as I said to him, it's in the past, he's here now, healthy, happy and in a stable committed relationship (4 yrs) and that's all that matters to me.
He says he'll be back maybe on the weekend but that he definitely won't do what he did before and not contact me.
I have to admit though, after he left, the kids and I had a long heart to heart talk about how we all felt about him reappearing and I admitted I was scared to completely trust him again including believing that he will turn up again, I hate feeling like this and I'm really struggling to accept that he's here.
It still rings in my head that last day he was here 5 yrs ago, we had a wonderful lunch, I had helped him get a lot of his debts paid, lent him more money, then as he was leaving, he said he'd be back in couple days and that was the last time I heard or saw of him till today.
The last couple days I had really been struggling physically and have been spending more and more time in bed, not sure why, just feeling off and legs incredibly painful and large.
But... today, my son came home :)