Coming to terms with my sister's death has been hard and I'm still struggling with many issues that have arisen from that (I'll go into that as time goes by).
Weight loss, eating healthy, exercise, music, reading, has all flown out the window, I just couldn't get myself interested in anything which was a real concern to the kids as I am normally a really sunny optimistic type of person who loves being with the kids, enjoying life and my music, but I withdrew and kept to myself for far too long.
Along with an increasing attacks of cellulitis that kept me in bed trying to stay out of hospital and the overwhelming pain even at rest that made me feel life wasn't worth fighting for anymore and I have to admit I gave up for quite a long time.
But gradually, I felt more at peace even with all the things going wrong there were still times of joy, of beauty around me and I have started slowly on the road to recovering my self esteem, self worth and focusing once again on my family, my health, my weight loss and ultimately coming to terms with the debilitating issues of my "friend" lymphoedema.
Part of this recovery is coming back to blogging and rejoining Weight Watchers, (they did cancel my account but that was due to a fault on their end which has now been fixed) and hopefully next week returning to Curves.
I am grateful to all my online friends here and on FB who have supported me through this period in my life and without you guys, I don't know if I'd be here blogging today.
So, small steps each day, just getting up and doing the best I can for each day is all I'm focusing on, no grand plans, no fantastic weight loss goals, just one step at a time, doesn't matter how long it's going to take me and I don't even have any real ideals that I wan't to achieve except, I couldn't keep going the way I was these last few months, I was slowly going backwards, finding the pain almost unbearable, my legs so heavy to move around I was barely moving at all, that was no life, I want more than that.
Ok, weighed in Friday night for 207.7 kg (456.94 lb) - yep shocking I know, but it's a start, by accepting those numbers and making the decision to turn it all around.
My blog won't just be about weight loss anymore, but about my lymphoedema, my struggles to improve my quality of life, my mobility, working out ways in dealing with chronic pain, becoming healthier, fitter, learning to love myself again and living life to the fullest, every single day!
My name is Anne and today, I chose to do things differently, I chose LIFE.