Previous weight: 190.8 kg | 419.76 lb
Current weight: 193.3 kg | 425.26 lb
Lost / Gained: +2.5 kg | +5.5 lb
2012 weight loss: +2.7 kg | +5.94 lb
Total overall loss: -39.9 kg | -87.78 lb
Lost / Gained: +2.5 kg | +5.5 lb
2012 weight loss: +2.7 kg | +5.94 lb
Total overall loss: -39.9 kg | -87.78 lb
Resigned, frustrated, but moving on - been a bad week mentally which even though I was on track etc, I just found it really hard to be motivated or happy.
Went out in the car with Toni to get her registered at Richmond Tafe (same one I am with) and I was sitting in the car for bout 3 hours which was fine, I had my music, books etc and was pretty comfortable for a change, but when it came to getting out of the car, well, my right leg had swollen up so much underneath my thigh, that the lymphoedema bulge for lack of a better description, got caught with the lever under the seat and I just couldn't get loose without a lot of pain.
Michael helped me to finally get out, but the after effects wasn't just physical (pain, swelling) but mental as I really sank to a new low - and I have been too scared to get back into the car since.
So dealing with all that plus the feelings of inadequacy, being housebound once again, I just hate being so lonely especially now I'm stuck in the house once again until my legs come down in size enough to fit back into the car without dramas.
In essence, I am a failure and it frustrates the hell out of me, to quote "the biggest loser" how is someone going to love me at this size?" and on top of that being in wheelchair AND lymphoedema?.. Talk about the evil trifecta!
awww Anne, just remember you are never alone, thoughts are with you always....and the internet makes ya just a message away.
ReplyDeleteHugs x
To be a failure a person has to give up and stay given-up. I don't think that's you.
ReplyDeleteWhat an awful experience you had... ruining a lovely day out.
Take care I imagine this will take a while to heal.
Don't forget your target for today and keep tracking.
[[[hugs]]] Blessings too