Fri 14th Sept - Weigh Day

Original weight: 233.2 kg
Restart weight: 212.9 kg - 14th Sept (Fri)

Been a while I know, it's been a pretty horrible last few weeks and it shows on the scales - I am suffering pretty badly with my legs being the most swollen they have been for a very long time and oh so heavy, to even get up and lift them so I can walk is excruciating and now I'm back being housebound as I cannot fit in the car (but forced myself today so I could see the doctor as she was worried bout me and wanted to discuss options for my medical treatment - more on that later)

So, I'm now 212.9 kg and yes I know it's mostly lymphatic fluid but it's still upsetting to see those numbers and remember a time last year when I was trying to get below 172.0 but I will focus on here and now and not stress about what was.

Doctor has now put me on max dose of antibiotics for next 20 days, plus she's given me a "special" script to allow me to have enough Endone (Pain tablets - oxycodone) for next 20 days as well, she wants me to take 1 tab 4 times daily.

I also had blood taken today vials and vials of it LOL she ordered extra tests to try and see what's going on in regards to lingering infections etc as well as my other levels ( Vit B12, Vit D, thryroid, iron etc)

Negatives:

- housebound again.
- I can just get in the car but struggle to shut the door against my legs as they're so swollen now they're literally being pushing into the console (right leg) and the door (left leg) so once the door is shut, I cannot move the legs at all
- way over 200 kg again
- Pain almost 24/7 and even though I am pretty tolerant of pain over the years, these past few weeks have been off the charts
- I'm crabby, miserable, emotionally drained, bursting in tears at drop of hat (even at the doctor's surgery today)
- can't get to gym
- sitting in wheelchair for longer than 20 mins isn't possible anymore as the legs swell up even more

Positives:

- I haven't given up
- I can go back to tracking and eating regular meals, regular times
- Got enough pain killers now for next 20 days (4 x per day) which should hopefully allow me some sleep as well
- I can exercise from home in chair or bed
- I can still enjoy my sunshine from the bed
- I can still bop around to my favourite music
- I can get the weight down no matter how long or how slowly
- I'm alive!

I can't give up and I won't give in, I just have to take each day as it comes with all it's up and downs and remain positive and focused in spite of it all.